Lessons Learned From Bowling Night

Friday night was family night. Our 11 year old daughter picked bowling as the activity. We got a lane, no problem...and started having fun right away.  I began noticing the food coming out all around me. Two lanes over were cheeseburgers and fries. The people who we shared a lane with had bacon wrapped appetizers,  followed by a cheese board. On the right side were cream puffs dipped in chocolate. The alcohol was flowing all around. Our daughter ordered chocolate cake. My husband ordered a hummus platter. I ate a few veggies off the hummus tray.  I noticed I started having less and less fun. I was resisting.  I was using willpower. I was mad that I couldn't have what everyone else was eating. I was mad that I wasn't having as much fun either. I thought, "maybe I should start eating and drinking and having fun like they are? What's wrong with me?". I couldn't wait to go home. I was miserable.

The next day I thought about what happened. I observed how I went from feeling happy, to feeling angry, to feeling miserable. I noticed how all of the feelings I had came from my thinking. I asked myself how I could have felt different during the course of the night. What if I had "allowed" the desire for the food around me, rather than "resisted" that desire. What if I was comfortable with wanting and not having? What if I had supported myself by keeping my thoughts focused on what I truly desire ( being at a weight I feel comfortable with), rather than on what I wasn't letting myself have?  Maybe I could have walked out of the bowling alley feeling proud of myself, rather than deprived and upset? Something to consider. I didn't beat myself up or judge my character- I know I'm good. I just asked myself how it could be different next time.

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